


Drink and watch me

by Merel



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alchemy, Bad Cooking, Gen, POV Third Person Limited, Swearing, raising a gifted child is hard but Chris Tries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-28 16:34:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20429042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merel/pseuds/Merel
Summary: It looked like a bag of cocaine had exploded. White powder and clumps on the floor, the ceiling, the wall, the fucking chairs and table, and in the middle of it was Roy, also covered in white powder, clutching his hair and seemingly near tears.





	Drink and watch me

Wednesday was never a really busy day. Most men came here to celebrate the weekend, but the only ones on Wednesday were the ones who came alone, usually because they told their wives they had to work late, or because they were lonely men looking for a warm body before going to a cold bed. She didn’t judge, money was money and information was information. It did mean that no one was coming up to her, though, everyone at their separate tables or booths, her girls fluttering by and occasionally bringing them a drink or taking one upstairs. 

She was rubbing a lemon peel on the rim of a glass when Melissa came down the stairs, looking worried.

“I heard something upstairs, like on the common floor, sounded like a bang or somethin’.”

Fuck. “Like a gun?”

Melissa held up her hands. “No, no, like something fell or somethin’.”

Which could still be bad. She waved away images of Roy or any of her girls lying on the floor with a broken neck and waved Carmen over.

“Is something wrong?”

“Not sure, but I need you to take over the bar for a minute.”

Carmen nodded. “Take your time, I’m not getting anywhere with him tonight.”

“Give him a few days.” She tapped the whiskey. “This one’s for Dietrich.”

She went upstairs, closely followed by Melissa. Nothing smelled weird and there were no other bangs, but soon enough they were at the landing of the common floor, and with some trepidation she opened the door.

Well, fuck. It looked like a bag of cocaine had exploded. White powder and clumps on the floor, the ceiling, the wall, the fucking chairs and table, and in the middle of it was Roy, also covered in white powder, except for a part of his chest and his face. She took a few more steps into the room, and now she could see an oven door on the floor, and the inside of the kitchenette’s oven caked with white powder. She looked back at Roy, who was clutching his hair and seemed to be near tears. Breathe, and keep calm.

"I have some questions, and I'm gonna need answers."

"I’m sorry, it wasn't on purpose, I swear."

She sighed. "Wasn't one of my questions, Roy."

His face scrunched up, but this wasn’t the time to be sympathetic here. Something had happened and it was obviously his fault, the guilt was written all over his face.

“Is that cocaine?”

Roy flinched. “No!” He exclaimed with a crack in his voice. “I-it’s not anything like that.”

Well, it was a relief that her boy wasn’t cooking drugs in their oven. “What the fuck is it then?”

“Well, I was thinking about getting rid of moisture, because I was working on incorporating Agricola’s circle of-” There was a headache starting at her temples, getting worse with every word the kid rambled out. He even puffed up a bit, like his smarts were going to get him out of any consequences.

_ “The point, Roy.” _

He deflated. “It’s meringue.”

Melissa burst out in laughter behind her, which probably made Roy-boy think whatever he did was hilarious, because he smiled bashfully and scratched his neck. Oh, fuck no, he wasn’t getting away with this.

“Melissa, get back to the window.”

Melissa huffed, but left anyway. Hopefully to the window and not downstairs, where she’d tell the other girls and they’d laugh about it, making Roy’s ego even bigger. She picked up a lump of  _ meringue _ off the table and smelled it. Sweet and lemony, and all over.

“What happened.”

Roy, now without his audience, started looking worried again. “The oven exploded.”

Oh, now that was an impressive use of passive voice. “Did it just explode? Were you just walkin’ by when it exploded  _ meringue _ on you, the room, and I guess the entire inside of the oven?”

The kid opened his mouth and closed it, staring down at the powder-covered floor and the oven door. Shit, the oven.

“Did you turn off the gas, at least?”

“Yeah,” Roy started sounding smug again, “I turned it off before I began.”

“Yeah, really glad you had the forethought not to take out the entire fucking street.” Kid flinched at that, thank fuck he had some brain cells. “Gods, Roy, you’re still fourteen but can you at least think for more than thirty fucking seconds before pulling crap like this?”

He was still staring at the floor, but Gods, that did nothing for her blood pressure. She closed her eyes and focused on breathing. Two rules. Two  _ fucking _ rules with his alchemy. Keep it to his room and no experimenting unless he asked first, and in just a couple of minutes he broke both of ‘em. She wanted to scream,  _ what the fuck were you thinking, _ and shake some sense into him, but that wouldn’t do any good. She didn’t know what Frankie would’ve done in this situation, but she knew what he wouldn’t have, and what she wouldn’t do either. So for the umpteenth time this year she clenched her fists, breathed in through her nose, and counted to ten. 

“I’ll try to,” he started, “I’ll try to clean it up, somehow.”

She opened her eyes to him looking a lot more apologetic. “And the stove? You’re not gonna try to fix it yourself, kiddo.”

“I have money.”

“I’m not gonna take that money for a stove, kid, that’s for your future.”

“I don’t spend everything on books,” he smiled slightly, “I have some left over.”

“Enough for an entire stove?”

His face fell. “I-I’ll work for it, with my job at Marazzi’s, I’ll pay you back?” He looked hopeful at that, and Chris nodded.

“I’ll pay for the oven now, and everything you earn from cleaning dishes goes to me, capisci?”

“Yeah.” Roy suddenly got a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Does that make me one of your employees?”

She felt the urge to roll her eyes. “No.” She said, but the kid smirked anyway.

She looked around at the white everything again. “I have to go back to tend bar, Roy, and when I get back up here I better not find a single fucking speck of egg white anywhere, am I clear?”

“Yup.”

She leveled a look at him.

“Yes, madam.”

The next few years were going to feel like Tartarus, she knew it. “Good.” She turned around and left the mess behind, going down the stairs again and waiting for Elena and a client to pass through the hall. She nodded to Carmen behind the bar, but went into her office instead. Putting the small chunk of meringue on the desk, she dug into her cabinet. Drinking wasn’t something she did in front of the clientele, not even one glass of mediocre whiskey she got from one of the Aerugonians. There wasn’t any ice in her office, so she let the lukewarm spirits burn her throat. Frankie’d been into alchemy, but he never blew up their oven, at least not before she left, and she had serious doubts their papa would’ve tolerated anything like it. If he had pulled something like this, he’d never told her after they got in contact again. It would’ve been handy, maybe, if she’d known to keep the kid away from any expensive kitchen appliances.

Her eye fell on the white lump still on her desk. Ah, whatever. She plopped it in her mouth and bit through it, but the meringue melted in her mouth without needing to be chewed, leaving behind sweetness and fresh lemon flavour. Well, shit. He actually had something good going here, if he found a way to make it without blowing something up. She supposed it’d make a funny story in a decade when he’d become “The Culinary Alchemist” or “The Egg Alchemist” or whatever unoriginal name the fuhrer came up with. If only she could find him a tutor. She threw back the rest of the whiskey and stood up. She’d talk more with him tomorrow, for now she had a business to run.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Aahh this was a very quick fic for me, please don't hold my promises about my other series against me 😂  
Come say hi to me on [my tumblr](http://www.stiekemekat.tumblr.com), kudos are appreciated and I always try to respond to comments!


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